


Fear to fuel

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Self Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-10 05:38:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2013033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Low. He feels low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear to fuel

**Author's Note:**

> i can explain  
> but im not going to

He should be ashamed, no strike that, he is ashamed at himself. Ashamed of the deep seeded burn in his lower abdomen that ignites and swells distinctly to the rising fear in his frame. The two go hand and hand and fuck is it embarrassing. Mortifying even.

Beyond that there’s anger and irritation, a strong defense towards his own pride that gets whittled down further and further because that man is an asshole who really knows how to grill into people. Pick them apart and bear down on them with words and presence alone.

Suigetsu grits his teeth. Fists his hands in his shirt, twisting and tugging the fabric angrily before he’s shoving his face into his pillow and biting on it. Low. He feels low. Like muddy water - murky and stagnant.

Useless. Over confident and unable to compensate for his boasts.

'Not true,' he tells himself through a snarled expression, but his pillow is already growing damp as he recalls the tone telling him such things. Reminding him how little someone like him means - how expendable his life was. Making his legs tremble and his entire being shake with the exhausting weight of fear and weakness.

"Fuck."

It’s a mystery to him just why encounters like that set him on fire, but he tacks it up as one more stain to his already very flawed existence. Something else for him to do wrong and maybe he should bring it up. Maybe Tobirama will yell at him about it too, dig in deep with those cold words and verbally grind his entire existence low into the ground where he supposedly belongs.

His hand invades his pants and he grunts, face flushed and embarrassed as he indulges in the unpleasant thoughts. Not entirely unpleasant given how his body seems to be reacting. How he’d like that grinding to be more than verbally, face and body digging into some hard surface as the man makes good on his own words of dislike.

A terrifying notion to have those hands on him. All that power that makes him quake being made use of. Really give Suigetsu something to be scared of.

The sound he makes is pathetic as his hips buck, some miserable keen of self loathing and want. He can imagine it, all the harsh words low in his ear as the man shows him no sign of concern or mercy. Reminding him just why he cowers and why he is a force to be reckoned with.

A physical reprimand for all his back talk and cowardly displays that seem to enrage the Nidaime so.

He shudders, doesn’t even process that he’s got fingers in his ass now and his neck is incredibly uncomfortable from the shift of position. It’s not enough, not even close to what he wants, and he wonders vaguely just when these masochistic tendencies really flared up.

Maybe it was the years of experimentation that inclined him towards them. Being in a state of discomfort, being used by someone becoming something his body was used to. Shut off from the thought of a softer touch, scars that dug in his mind rather than his body and expressed themselves in this form instead. Craved that sort of negative attention from someone powerful.

It didn’t take long for him to hit his end, fingers working furiously against his cock and ass until he’s gone off - unsatisfied, half liquefied, and drowning in his sense of self pity.


End file.
